Sometimes I Feel Like Hurting
by KimMi1
Summary: Henry loves someone close to him, but can't say anything about it. As he is pushed closer to the edge of a cold, steel, knife, can anyone catch him before it's to late? Yaoi :complete:
1. prelude

Sometimes I Feel Like Hurting  
  
By: KimMi  
  
Prelude  
  
KimMi: Another Henryo from KimMi! But, unlike some, this one has a plot, and this one has angst! Yeah!!  
  
Clowmon: How could you write this? And your Yami calls you the innocent one?  
  
KimMi: Whether my other half is a yami or hikari, it matters not. I shall write this fic! * heroic pose *  
  
Clowmon: How can you be so... giggly when you write such dark fics?  
  
KimMi: Don't know. I think it has something to do with the fact that I raised by homicidal maniacs that spoiled me so I was innocent and deadly at the same time. * giggles * Me no owny Digimon!  
  
Clowmon: * hides her head under a pillow * Help me.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
~ Sometimes I feel like screaming. Just throwing everything to the wind and letting it all come out in one earth shattering burst.  
  
Sometimes I feel like crying. Ignore everyone and let it stream out in crystal drops that purify.  
  
Sometimes I feel like hurting. Tearing away at the flesh till there's nothing left but bone.  
  
I think I might be going crazy, but it's perfectly normal for teenagers to go through depressive periods.  
  
It's perfectly normal to fall in love.  
  
Love hurts.  
  
But love's not suppose to hurt and break and be forbidden.  
  
Love's suppose to be perfectly normal.  
  
Sometimes I feel like hurting. ~  
  
A white flaring pain blinded him. The icy fire that burned his being felt like something sweet.  
  
~ It feels like love. ~  
  
Love hurts. Whoever said that was wiser then many give credit for. Love isn't meant to feel warm and fuzzy. Love wasn't meant to be hated and forbidden.  
  
But love was meant to feel wonderful. The pain love brought was a dizzying, extraordinary, unbelievable high that you couldn't help but become addicted to; just like it felt now with a blade embedded in soft flesh.  
  
A soft pant from the mouth of the one who had cut their wrist, working it's way into muffled screams of pain.  
  
~ Sometimes I feel like screaming. ~  
  
Blood dripped down the wrist of the one who had cut their wrist. What better way for the heart to weep then through the crimson tears it pumped?  
  
~ Sometimes I feel like crying. ~  
  
The pain. The intoxicating pain that flowed from the one who had cut their wrist.  
  
~ Sometimes I feel like hurting. ~  
  
Focusing on the image in front of him, our protagonist stared at himself in the mirror.  
  
Tanned Asian skin, glazed silver eyes, blue hair...  
  
With a sharp inhale, the glazed eyes cleared and inspected the wound.  
  
It was small. It always was. He wasn't stupid enough to leave any evidence. The blade was well hidden, blood cleaned, and wound effectively concealed.  
  
Didn't anyone wonder why he was still the only one to wear wristbands?  
  
As he pondered those thoughts, he brought up his hand, licking at the blood absentmindedly.  
  
~ I think I might be going crazy. ~  
  
Love is normal. People do it everyday. It happened in movies and books and mangas. It was a holy thing.  
  
~ It's perfectly normal to fall in love. ~  
  
It wasn't normal for people to cuts themselves. It wasn't normal to cut because of love.  
  
~ Love hurts. ~  
  
Love causes pain. Love can bring pain so intense that it tears away at your soul and heart. It tears and claws until it leaves nothing but an empty shell. Love can hurt most when it's not suppose to happen.  
  
~ But love's not suppose to hurt and break and be forbidden. ~  
  
You see love everyday. It's something that plays a part in everything. But the love always plays by the rules. Love never strays from the chosen path. Love plays a certain way to be accepted.  
  
~ Love's suppose to be perfectly normal. ~  
  
Love that isn't allowed. Love that brings pain. Love that is forbidden and delicious and utterly excruciating. Love that makes you feel urgent and addicted to the wondrous hurt it brings.  
  
~ Sometimes I feel like hurting. ~  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
KimMi: * blinks * ... * blinks again * Wow, and I thought this was gonna be a one shot ficcy. Oh well. This is the prelude. In the next chapter, Henry's 'love' will be discovered by someone close. And no, it's not Ryo. It's someone else.  
  
Clowmon: Stop blabbing and write the next chapter of this sadistic romance.  
  
KimMi: You're cranky. What's wrong?  
  
Clowmon: You do know this is the fourth fic in a row that you've had me muse? The fourth romance fic, and the third Henryo. I'm not even going to mention the other coupling you wrote.  
  
KimMi: LUCATO (Lucemon/Takato) FOREVER!!  
  
Clowmon: No! No more!  
  
KimMi: R&R. We all do want Henry to get help, right? 


	2. Chapter 1

Sometimes I Feel Like Hurting  
  
By: KimMi  
  
Chapter 1  
  
KimMi: I'm ba-ack!  
  
Clowmon: * sleeping *  
  
KimMi: My muse gave up on me. I'm all alone now.  
  
Clowmon: * snore *  
  
KimMi: I don't own it. I just write it. If I owned it, I would introduce a deaf character that communicated through sign language. None of the digidestion every have any handicaps. Did anyone else notice that?  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Terriermon peered through the crack of the bathroom door. So, his fears were true. His tamer was hurting himself. Why though? Why would Henry do something like that?  
  
~ Somehow I don't think momentai would work right now. ~ The bunny digi quickly scampered back to his and Henry's room so he partner wouldn't be suspicious. ~ So what do I do? Well tell someone genius. But who? ~ Terriermon flopped backwards and closed his eyes.  
  
~ Takato? He'd overreact. His dad? No. Rika? Defiantly a no there. But who else is there? ~ Henry entered the room, making sure that the bands were secure around his wrists. He quickly put on a happy face in an attempt to ruse his digimon partner.  
  
"What are you thinking so hard about Terriermon?"  
  
"Oh, nothin'." Terriermon replied off-handedly. ~ Who can I tell? ~  
  
Stretching, Henry sat on the bed and pulled Terriermon into his lap. The boy stroked his digimon lightly, and the bunny sighed. ~ There has got to be somebody... ~  
  
Jarrin knocked on her little brother's door and entered. "Hey Henry. You have a phone call. It's that Ryo guy."  
  
"Thanks Jarrin." Henry placed his bunny digi on the bed and left the room.  
  
~ Hmmm. That's it! ~ Terriermon sat up fast enough to pull a muscle. "Oww."  
  
~ I'll tell Ryo. He'll understand and everything. ~  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Wha, what did you say?" Ryo brought his hand to his head. What his dearest friend's partner had said couldn't be true. Henry couldn't be... He just couldn't be-  
  
"He's hurting himself." Terriermon repeated.  
  
"Why hasn't anyone noticed?!" Ryo grasped at his hair. ~ Henry... ~  
  
Terriermon sighed. And he'd thought Ryo would be the one that didn't overreact. "It's Henry. He knows how to hide stuff very well."  
  
"But, how could he?" Ryo sat down, head between his hands.  
  
Terriermon sighed. It was hard to sneak out and see Ryo. In fact he spent the entire night thinking of a way to get to the other tamer with only a paper clip, a tube of lipstick, and a bottle of hair spray... Then he threw that plan away and just snuck out when Henry went to Martial Arts class. But still... Ryo was suppose to be helping!  
  
"I don't know." Terriermon answered. "But it has to be something big. He's, he's..." Terriermon looked at the floor and bit his lip. "He's starting to scare me."  
  
Ryo looked at the rabbit digi, surprised. Had Terriermon just said he was afraid?  
  
"It's just his face. When he does it, he looks happy, like he's in ecstasy." Terriermon swallowed the lump forming in his throat. "He drinks his own blood when he does it."  
  
Ryo took in a sharp breath. "How long has he been doing this?"  
  
Finally. A helpful response.  
  
"I don't know." Terriermon admitted. "But what do we do about it?"  
  
Ryo thought. They needed to tell someone, after HE found out why.  
  
"Terriermon?"  
  
"What?" the white digi looked up. Had Ryo finally thought of a plan to help his tamer?  
  
"Tell Henry that I want him to come over and spend the night. You stay at home with Susie and Lopmon. I'll ask Takato if Monodramon can stay with Guilmon for the night. Leave everything to me."  
  
"And what if your plan doesn't work?"  
  
"Then we'll think of something else. The most important thing right now is to stop Henry from hurting himself."  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Henry's breath caught in his throat. Had he heard his digimon right? Did the one that caused him pain really want...  
  
"Yep. That's what he said. Ryo wants you to come over to his house alone." Terriermon repeated.  
  
"Uhhh..." What an intelligent answer.  
  
"Your dad already okayed it, so there's nothing stopping you Henry."  
  
"But what about you Terriermon? Will you be okay at home with Susie?" Brilliant Henry. Think of a reason NOT to spend a night with Ryo.  
  
"Aww, momentai. I'll be fine here with Susie. She only tortures Lopmon with Princess Pwetty Pants now."  
  
"Well, okay. I'll go call him." Henry turned and left the room, in somewhat of a daze.  
  
~ Good. ~ Terriermon thought. ~ Mission one accomplished. Now you just need to find a way to help him Ryo. And you darn well better. ~  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Come on in." Ryo lead the smaller boy into his apartment. He had been serious when he told Terriermon no one would be with them. Monodramon was with Guilmon, and he dad had to go somewhere for work for a couple of days.  
  
"Why'd you ask me to come over?" Henry asked softly. "I mean, without Terriermon?"  
  
"Because I wanted to talk to you about some stuff." Ryo smiled reassuringly.  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"It's nothing serious. I just wanted to spend some time with you without having to worry about Terriermon trying to destroy something, or Monodramon digivolving to Cyberdramon and trying to kill Terriermon."  
  
Henry smiled. "Yeah. That's probably what would've happened."  
  
Ryo gestured to the couch. "Sit down. Dinner'll be ready in a sec."  
  
Henry did as he was told, wringing his hands together in a combination of nerves and excitement.  
  
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Ryo was going over his plan one last time. After dinner, he would 'accidentally' spill something onto Henry's wrists. Forcing Henry to take the bands off to clean them, the wounds would be seen and Ryo could begin to get his answers.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Dinner had gone by incredibly smoothly. No accusations were thrown, Ryo didn't feel like he was about the scream, and Henry had effectively hidden his 'crush' on the older boy.  
  
Now that both were again in the living room, Henry's fingers began to itch. His wrists were beginning to ache dully, and the need to enter his ecstasy was growing. Feeling as if he couldn't stand it any more, he excused himself to the bathroom.  
  
Inside, he pulled the thin blade from his pocket. Quickly, carelessly, so not to appear suspicious to Ryo for taking so long, Henry tore the blade through his wrist. The sharp action from the unforgiving blade went deeper then it ever had before. Blood gushed from the wound. So much blood. The pain he felt wasn't exhilarating. It hurt. In all blunt honestly, it hurt.  
  
With a loud gasp and quiet moan, Henry slid against the wall. He hand clenched his forearm in an attempt the stem the burning bleeding. Gods, why didn't it feel good like it was supposed to?  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Ryo, who was still waiting for Henry to return, began to worry. Walking to the bathroom, he knocked lightly on the door.  
  
"Henry, are you okay?"  
  
No answer.  
  
Ryo knocked again, and heard a soft sound.  
  
"Henry?"  
  
The sound came again, a little louder this time. It sounded like a painful whimper.  
  
Ryo was beginning to get worried, and quickly tried to open the door, only to discover it locked. Damn, what was he supposed to do now? It wasn't like the door opened with a key.  
  
Not getting any ideas, and becoming increasingly worried from the whimpers of pain from behind the door, decided to pick the lock. After what seemed like an eternity of curses, trying to get the stupid wire to work, and torture from Henry's cries, Ryo managed to open the door.  
  
The first thing to hit him was the coppery smell of blood that filled the room. The next was Henry's crumpled figure against the wall.  
  
Without a single thought, Ryo rushed over to the fragile boy and enveloped him in a hug.  
  
Henry lifted his head. "Ryo?"  
  
"Shush." Ryo whispered, holding on as tightly as he could without further injuring the boy. "Everything's okay. Everything's going to be okay."  
  
Henry clasped on tightly to Ryo's arm. "Ryo."  
  
Ryo nodded into Henry's shoulder. He started to pull away, causing Henry to tighten his grasp.  
  
"It's all right." Ryo said softly. "We just need to take care of it." Ryo motioned to the other's wrist.  
  
Henry nodded and allowed Ryo to bandage his wrist. Ryo took Henry into his bedroom, and sat the boy on the bed.  
  
"Henry, why are you doing this to yourself?"  
  
The smaller boy looked at his bandaged wrist with shame. "It's not supposed to hurt."  
  
"Henry?"  
  
"It's not supposed to hurt. It's meant to feel better then this."  
  
Ryo raised an eyebrow. What was Henry talking about? "What's not supposed to hurt?"  
  
"Love."  
  
"What does love have to do with any of this?" Ryo squeezed the smaller teen's hand.  
  
"Love hurts." Henry answered simply. "It hurts so much." He took a deep breath and let it out shakily. "I, I need to hurt. It reminds me of love."  
  
Ryo was still not understanding his friend. At least he was opening up though.  
  
"Why does love hurt?"  
  
"It's forbidden."  
  
"How can love be forbidden?"  
  
"It wasn't supposed to happen. It ISN'T supposed to happen."  
  
"Why not?" Ryo took Henry into his arms. "Why isn't love supposed to happen?"  
  
Henry whimpered slightly. "Because."  
  
"Because why?" No. Ryo wasn't about to let up.  
  
"Because... I fell in love with the wrong person."  
  
"Who did you fall in love with?"  
  
"No."  
  
He looked down at Henry with surprise. "What? No?"  
  
"Stop it." the boy whispered. "Stop asking questions."  
  
"I'm only trying to help you Henry."  
  
"I don't need help."  
  
"Your hurting yourself." It was hard for Ryo to say this without yelling. "Of course you need help."  
  
"It isn't bad." Henry gulped. "It helps."  
  
Screw not yelling. Ryo needed to force Henry into seeing things the right way. "How could hurting yourself help?!"  
  
Henry squirmed, trying to break free of the older boy's grasp. "You don't know what it's like! You don't know what it's like to love and dream and hope and know you're never going to get what you want!" suddenly, he collapsed. Just collapsed onto the older boy, sobs racking his thin frame. "You don't know what it's like to love someone and know they'll never love you back." he murmured. "So please; let me go. Just let me go."  
  
"Not until you let me help you." Ryo tensed his grip on his best friend. "I care too much about you to let you go. We're friends Henry, best friends. We have a bond that's only surpassed by our digimon. And nothing will ever come between that bond."  
  
The sobs subsided and a pained whisper followed. "Are we really friends Ryo?"  
  
Ryo blinked in surprise. Of course they were friends. Everyone knew that. Everyone could see that. Why was Henry doubting their friendship?  
  
"Of course we're friends Henry. We always will be."  
  
Henry pulled out of Ryo's hold and wiped the tears from his eyes. "Is that all we are Ryo? Friends?"  
  
"What else would we be?"  
  
Henry stood. That wasn't the answer he was looking for. "Good-bye Ryo." Turning quickly, he fled for the door.  
  
"But Henry..." Ryo bit his lip. What else could they be?  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
KimMi: Damn it that was bad. See Clowmon? That's what happens when my muse sleeps on me! * turns around and sweat drops *  
  
Clowmon: * still asleep *  
  
KimMi: That's it. I'm getting a beta reader. That's someone who reads my fics before I post them and tell me what they think, right? If it is, I'm taking additions right now. Anyone who signs up and I like will get free bonuses, like requesting fics, and fanart, and stuff. Pyropixie911/Firefly and Kaibagurl (whatever your pen name is) you two don't count!! As much as I love your endless ego boasts, I need someone to point out the bad things in my fic!  
  
Clowmon: * mumbles in her sleep and turns over *  
  
KimMi: * points to the review button * So click the pretty button and sign up, or review. I don't know if this is the last chapter or not. I planed on ending it here, but if I get a few readers who desperately want me to add another chapter, I just might. Oh, and is Henry's big sister Jarrin or Jaarin? I couldn't remember.  
  
Buh-byes!  
  
wuv ~KimMi~ 


	3. chapter 2

Sometimes I Feel Like Hurting

By: KimMi

Chapter 2

KimMi: I'm back!

Clowmon: completely sarcastic : Gasp. It lives.

KimMi: Sorry! My computer's been broken and I've had HUGE writers block since then. So, here's another chapter-

Clowmon: Because you damn fans wouldn't stop bugging her for it-

KimMi: Yes! Bboyz, rufus008, dear Atsuki-chan, KittyBlue, Jenrya Akiyama, Rebecca, and Key of Darkness (I'm eternally sorry if I missed anyone, I went through all my disks to look for reviews, so I'm really sorry if I missed anyone) I love you all: gushes love :

Clowmon: As I was saying. She's been on a god-knows-how-long hiatus from digimon fics until you all came along. : glares :

KimMi: throws a shoe (and misses by three feet) at Clowmon : If you don't like it, go back to sleep!

Clowmon: Fine, good luck though. I know this is the only fic where you actually need a muse because you have no idea what you're doing. : smirks and falls asleep :

KimMi: Yeah right. I have a million ideas for all my fics... Except this one. Clowmon!

Clowmon: mumble snore :

KimMi: Damn. : looks uneasily at the keyboard : Well, I'll just hit a few keys and we'll see what we get, all right: puts on a blindfold : Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it. : pushes the first random keystrokes of many :

His sneakers thudded heavily against the asphalt as he ran. The sun was setting, and the scenery was beautiful. Henry cursed his luck. Why wasn't it raining? His heart had just been crushed by his true love, he was lost, he was miserable, and his wrist throbbed painfully.

It always rained when you were miserable. That was one of the major factors of Murphy's law, wasn't it? Whatever can go wrong will go wrong?

It wasn't until he reached the park he and the other tamers had visited so frequently when he was younger did the blue haired bishie slowed. He avoided the shed where Guilmon still sometimes camped out for 'old times sake.' He went to a secluded swing set on the other side of the park.

Sitting on a swing, Henry couldn't help but notice how familiar it felt. No one liked him when he was younger, so he kept to himself. He instantly liked this place when he found it. Often times, when he was depressed or lonely, he had come here for a bit of peace.

Because it was alone like he was.

/ So utterly alone. / Henry reminded himself. At least he didn't come out and say what he wanted. But it wouldn't take Ryo to long to put two and two together...

/ What will he think of me when he figures it out? I already know he doesn't love me, so I don't have to worry about that. And he isn't homophobic... But I'm not... / He lowered his head and sniffled. It just, it just...

"It hurts so much. I don't want to think anymore. I want to disappear." Henry whispered, tears spilled free after all the time he held them in. It had been such a long time since he had allowed himself to cry. "I'm crying." he muttered. It sound as if he was more disappointed then shocked. "Does it really hurt so much that I have to cry?"

So engrossed in his tears, Henry didn't even notice the other presence in the park. Not until two arms glomped him from behind did he look up into the face of, of all the people in the world, his older brother.

The elder boy stood up, his hands lingering on Henry's shoulders. "What are you doing out here so late outto (sp? I can't remember the spelling)? I thought you were staying at Ryo's tonight."

Henry simply looked down at the ground, not bothering to wipe away the tears that still streamed down his face. "Leave me alone Nii-san."

"You're crying." Riechi stated the obvious. "What's wrong?"

"Go away."

"And leave my dear little brother alone, in the middle of the big, scary city where anyone could come and hurt him?" Riechi snorted, his mocking voice suddenly taking on a serious tone. "I don't think so."

Riechi took a seat on the swing next to Henry. "So... You gonna tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Yes there is."

"No there isn't."

"Is too."

Henry didn't respond.

"Hey, that's not fair. You're supposed to say 'is not,' then I say 'is too' and we keep arguing like that."

The tears finally stopped, but Henry didn't go to wipe away the drying tracks. "Go away."

"Not happening."

Henry bit his lip. He didn't want to deal with this right now. "Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"You know," Riechi looked over to Henry, "I can sit here all night and bug you until I get my answer. I have no where else to be, and nothing else to do. I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong and come home with me."

"Nii-san, for the last time; There. Is. NOTHING. Wrong."

Riechi just kept that smile on his face. "Is too."

"..."

"So, does this mean you give up and are gonna tell me what's wrong now?"

After yet another long pause, the elder Wong sighed. "You know outto, you can tell me anything. It's not like I'm gonna tell Dad or anything. What happens here stays between the two of us."

The only response Henry had was to unconsciously draw his wounded wrist to his chest.

This didn't escape Riechi's attention. "Shit Henry. What happened?"

"Nothing." He mentally cursed himself. How could he have done something so stupid as to draw attention to his wound? Because of this, he didn't stop Riechi from taking his hand and examining it.

After unwrapping the wound, Riechi narrowed his eyes. Hissing not only at the slash that still weeped blood generously, but at the angry scars as well, Riechi sucked in his breath.

"Why?" Gone was the happy, carefree tone. It was replaced with the stone cold manner of the ever famous (and probably copyrighted by someone out there) overprotective big brother mode.

"None of your business." Henry wanted to break into fresh sobs, but couldn't. He had already cried once that night. That was more then enough to last him for awhile.

Riechi arose from his seat on the swing. Henry half expected him to either smack him, or physically drag him home. Needless to say, he was shocked when his elder brother wrapped his arms around Henry's smaller frame.

"It is my business outto. Never think that it isn't." Riechi hugged the skinny frame tighter, his brother's head tucked beneath his chin. "You're too important to me for it to be anything else."

Surprisingly enough, Henry found himself hugging back. He rested his head against the chest of his older brother, enjoying the warmth he offered. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment. It felt, so nice... To be held by another human. It was something he hadn't allowed himself to feel in such a long time...

Riechi smiled slightly when he noticed Henry's breathing even out. Pulling away, he cradled his brother in his arms. Heading towards his apartment (he had moved out of the Wong house after graduating from collage last year), Riechi was determined to find out one thing.

Well two really.

Why was Henry cutting himself?

And, what excuse he would give his boss tomorrow for skipping work... Again.

KimMi: Wow, this chapter was really short. But at least I got it done! And, Henry's big bro (who's name I can't remember, I hope this is right) is in it! Take that Clowmon!

Clowmon: snore :

KimMi: Um... Well... Thanks everyone for reading! I'm really sorry that it took me so long to update. But, I didn't have anything else planned. I really was gonna finish it with the last chapter. Well, that's all for now. See ya later and review if you want more (Not that my almost cult following of henryo fans won't): evil snicker :

buh-byes

wuv

KimMi


	4. Chapter 3

**Sometimes I Feel Like Hurting**

By: KimMi

Chapter 3

KimMi: What can I say? Atsuki-chan's one shots inspired me. Now, I must write a third chapter. : victory pose :

Clowmon: opens an eye : You did it again in the last chapter.

KimMi: Did what?

Clowmon: closes eyes again : That thing you always do when you don't know what to write next.

KimMi: still clueless : Huh?

Clowmon: closed eyes twitches : You added a new character, which will only serve to complicate the story line, which will result in you not knowing what to do next. This also results in a fic that either goes on and on until you stop writing, or a crappy unfulfilling ending.

KimMi: looks away : I don't know what you're talking about.

Clowmon: Let's point out the X-Men Evolution fic you and Raiden have been writing for that past two years. It is now well over a hundred, maybe two hundred pages long (if you could find all the pages and type them up like your supposed to) and has no end in sight.

KimMi: ignores Clowmon's horrid truth : You've been paying attention to my fics after all: smile :

Clowmon: sighs : Just shut up and write the fic like you're supposed to. I'm sure all of your readers are tried of listening to this babble.

KimMi: Fine. : pouts : Chapter three, and even if I am inspired, I still have no idea what I'm writing about. So... enjoy! u : imagine floating pink heart to the right of the wink :

"Yeah, he's here with me. Uh-huh. Yeah. I know. Yep. I'll bring him home once he's feeling better. Okay. Yeah... I know. Bye Dad." Riechi hung the phone, shaking his head. Ryo had called Henry's father a bit ago, asking if Henry was home. Since their dad didn't know Henry's was with his brother, he had gone into full panic mode. But luckily, Ryo hadn't told their dad the reason Henry had left. So Riechi had come up with the excuse that Henry wasn't feeling well, and he found him on the way home. He then continued to lie shamelessly and tell his dad that Henry was now resting peacefully in his room, and would return the young Wong in the morning.

Maybe. If Henry wasn't in the mood to go home, Riechi wasn't gonna make him.

Plopping himself on the couch of his small apartment, he contemplated the situation. In all honesty, he was shocked. Henry always seemed to be the one in control. He was the last person that Riechi would expect to dabble in something as dangerous and dark as self mutilation. Although after examining the about of scars that littered his brother's wrists, Henry didn't just 'dabble' in cutting. While they didn't cover the boy's arms, the small area that was hidden by his wristbands had scar upon scar.

The biggest question was why. Why would Henry do something like that? What would push him to do this? Well, Riechi would just have to wait until Henry woke up to get his answers.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Ryo ran the streets of Shinjuku. Henry's father had just called and let Ryo know that the bunny tamer was with his brother. Even though Ryo had no idea what he had said wrong, he had to fix it. He just had too.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

With a sleepy mumble, Henry opened his eyes. Where was…? Oh, yeah. Riechi. He was at Riechi's apartment. His brother found him after…

He curled into a ball. He didn't want to think about it. He couldn't even imagine anymore. Ryo had torn apart every hope he had of being with the elder tamer.

Now… Henry just wanted to disappear.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Riechi grumbled as he went to answer the furious knocking on the door. It better not be his landlady. He had already paid this month's rent for the seventh time! "Evil Hag." was muttered before he threw open the door.

"For the eightieth time, I already paid your god damn ren…t…" The Wong's yell lowered to a mumble when he saw the Akiyama kid across the hallway. It was funny almost. Ryo had a look of shock (and was that a trace of fear?) painted on his features. "Oh, it's you. What do you want?"

"I need to see Henry." Ryo stepped forward, his alarm forgotten.

"First tell me what happened."

"Please, I need to see him right away."

"Not until I find out what happened."

Ryo sighed. There didn't appear to be another way. "All right. I'll tell you what I know."

They were inside the apartment now; Ryo seat on the couch and Riechi in a chair. The elder of the two had the scary 'over protective big brother' look on his face as he waited for the boy to explain.

Ryo sighed as he began his story. "Terriermon came to me earlier today and told me that Henry was cutting himself. I invited him over for dinner in hopes of finding out why. He went to the bathroom and cut himself, bad this time. I found him and wrapped it. We talked a bit, and he became really upset. Then he just got up and ran out."

"What did you two talk about?"

"Love."

"What?"

"We talked about love. That love hurt and that the pain he got cutting reminded him of that love. He said that he fell in love with the wrong person. That it was forbidden and wasn't meant to happen."

"Then?" Riechi raised an eyebrow. Was that inane thought running through his head really the reason behind all of this?

"He collapsed sobbing and told me I wouldn't know what it was like for love someone and never have them love you back. He asked me to let him go." Ryo looked at his own smooth wrist. "I told him I was his best friend and he could tell me anything. Then, he asked if we were really friends. I asked him what else we would be, and he bolted."

Riechi fell back into his seat. That inane thought running through his head really WAS the reason behind all of this. "I don't believe it."

"Riechi?"

"Tell me Ryo, how do you feel about Henry?"

"How I feel about him?"

KimMi: Okay, I have to stop it there to take a poll. Should this end A: extremely angstily, B: with lots of tears, hugs and understanding after a long night of screaming, or C: ungodly fluffy 'I love you!' 'Oh, I :heart: you too!"

Clowmon: What are the chances of the last making it if it's voted most wanted?

KimMi: Zilch because Henry's too angsty and problem ridden to simply except and "I love you" and believe it. But, if C is chosen, then probably Ryo admitting his love and then convincing Henry of his words being true with minimum effort.

Clowmon: And the chances of you just ignoring your reviewers and choosing A and possible character death?

KimMi: Depends on the number of death threats… Anyway my wonderful reviewers, please hit the pretty purple button and review. Remember, your vote could make all the difference.

Clowmon: Don' listen. Your votes mean nothing to her.

KimMi: They do too! It's because of one faithful reviewer going out of her name (she shall remain without a name) and e-mailing, asking for another chapter that I got to writing it this quick. : victory pose :

Clowmon: Send the raving psychotic her reviews so she'll end this fic within the next chapter or two and let me get on with my life.

Buh-byes

Wuv

KimMi


	5. Chapter 4

Sometimes I Feel Like Hurting

By: KimMi

Chapter 4

KimMi: Konnichiwa all!

Clowmon: Just post the chapter.

KimMi: Well you're unusually grumpy today.

Clowmon: This is it. Unless your life is in imminent danger, I refuse to muse anymore Henryo's.

KimMi::gasp: But, how will I write Henryo's without you!

Clowmon: I don't care. As soon as this fic is done, I'm gone. Just post the chapter you've kept people waiting for and let me retire.

KimMi::sobs: Well then, here's the next chapter of Sometimes. :sob sniffle:

"How I feel about him?"

Now, that was a good question. He couldn't even answer it for himself let alone for the young man sitting across from him. For quite a while the Chinese tamer had stirred feelings from deep within him. Yet… He couldn't quite name those emotions. All he knew was that they felt warm, and comforting… And a little, just a little, painful.

"I, I'm not sure." Ryo spoke slowly, trying to coax the words to his lips. "I care about him a lot, maybe more then anyone else. Whenever he's happy, I couldn't be happier. And when he's hurting, it hurts me too. I really, really care about him." Ryo finished, face bright red. He couldn't believe he had just said those things about Henry, to Riechi of all people. Maybe a portal to the digital world would just randomly form beneath him and swallow him up.

Riechi held his head in his hand. Oi. He was stuck in the middle of a teenage love drama. But this drama might result in a broken person and even possibly more. And all because Henry wouldn't confess his love and Ryo was unaware of his feelings.

"Riechi?"

"Go." The elder Wong waved his hand. "Go talk to him and make sure you don't come out until the two of you have everything figured out."

Riechi watched Ryo quickly go to where Henry lay in wait. His next words fell to deaf ears.

"And don't you dare break him."

:-:-:-:-:

The door opened softly, the resounding creak echoing throughout the otherwise silent room.

"Henry?"

Oh, god no. Dear god not him. Anyone, anything else but the figure that taunted him in his dreams.

Henry curled into a ball, the sheet wrapped tightly around him. "Go away."

Ryo sighed, sitting on the bed next to the smaller boy. The room was dark, but he could easily see Henry's huddled form beneath the sheets. "Henry, listen…" A hand placed itself on Henry's shoulder.

He tensed, but made no other movement.

Ryo sighed. What was he supposed to say?

"Henry, why are you doing this?"

The other boy was silent.

"Why is your love so forbidden?"

No response.

"Who is it that you love so much?"

He wouldn't.

"Henry?"

He couldn't.

"Please Henry…"

Please don't let his resolve break.

The hand pulled away the sheets Henry held so desperately. It ran through sapphire locks gently. Fingers skimmed his scalp in a comforting movement. "Tell me."

"No." It was barely a whisper.

"Please Henry. I can't stand seeing you like this, knowing that you're hurting yourself. I don't know how to make it better for you if you don't tell me."

"Just go away." The words were filled with unsuppressed whimpers and barely suppressed sobs.

"I'm not going to go away Henry." Ryo spoke softly, hands moving from his hair to his shoulders. "I'm staying right here until you let me help you."

"Leave me alone." Gods the pain that filled his heart; the heart that was bleeding, screaming, being shredded into painful little pieces with every word that escaped the other boy's mouth.

Ryo sighed, this wasn't getting him anywhere. "No Henry." The words became a little more forceful, his grip a little tighter. "I'm not going anywhere. I don't care how many times I have to say it. I am not leaving you alone and I am not going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong and let me help you."

"You can't help me."

Just go away.

"You don't know that!"

Leave me alone.

"I do."

I don't want to love you.

"Henry…"

Stop saying my name.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?"

I don't want you.

"Henry…" Ryo leaned down and hugged the younger boy's curled body as best he could. "Because I care."

Stop lying.

"No you don't."

Stop lying…

"Yes I do."

Just stop.

"Stop!"

Ryo jumped back in surprise. He hadn't expected for Henry to jump up, tears streaming down his face, glaring at Ryo in something that too closely resembled hatred.

"Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it! Just go away and leave me alone! You don't care- you can't care! Leave me alone!"

"Henry!" Ryo tried to grasp the younger boy, only to be shoved away.

"Don't touch me! Go away! Get out!" In an act of pure frustration, his hand swiped at Ryo's cheek.

The resounding 'slap' rung in the sudden silence that invaded the room.

Henry sat, gasping for air. In utter shock of what he had just done, he could not tear his eyes from Ryo's stunned face.

Suddenly Ryo lunged; and despite his best efforts the younger boy could not escape Ryo's tight gasp. It was a struggle, but eventually, Henry succumbed to the tight embrace. Ryo's face was buried in Henry's hair, as Henry's body was cradled in his lap. Crushed to the older tamer's chest, he could feel Ryo's trembles. But most shockingly, he could feel the faint moisture of tears in his hair.

"Damn it Henry." Ryo arms squeezed Henry tighter. "I care about you. I care about you more than anyone else in the world."

Gray eyes widened. What was Ryo saying? Could it possibly be…? Did he…

"I love you Henry."

Clowmon: Good. They're in love with each other. Fic done.

KimMi: No more?

Clowmon: No more.

KimMi::looks warily at the mob of angry Henryo fans: Not even one more chapter?

Clowmon: Not unless there's a knife or some other lethal object to your throat. :lays down to sleep:

KimMi: Well, you heard her folks. Please read and review. And for those reviewers who want another chapter, be gentle. You only have to hold the knife to my throat; not hurt me with it. And if you want more Henryo's; send me a muse. Mine (in case you couldn't tell) just quit.

buh-byes

wuv

KimMi


	6. Chapter 5

Sometimes I Feel Like Hurting

By: KimMi

Chapter 5

KimMi: Here it is. The last chapter of Sometimes. This is dedicated to Reichi, who without picking up Henry in part three, would have let this fic long ago. Please enjoy this final installment.

Clowmon::from where she lays half asleep: Now I can finally retire.

KimMi: I know.

Clowmon::opens an eye: What? No dramatics, no tears?

KimMi: The last chapter is so sad and fluffy. And I've been listening to Jewel's Adrian on repeat for the past half hour. Plus, this is my most popular fic and I think the best piece of fluffy angst I have ever written. This is the first fic where I truly had no idea what would happen next and had to literally force myself to write. And this is my last fic with you, my Henryo muse from the beginning. I'm not allowed to be sad?

Clowmon::lays down and goes back to ignoring her tamer: She doesn't own it. Read and review this angsty, fluffy crap so I can leave.

KimMi: Hey! That's not nice!

"Why?" Henry whispered, voice quivering. "How could you?" Ryo couldn't love him. He just couldn't!

"I don't know. I just do." Ryo stroked the smaller child's back in a comforting gesture. He himself didn't know why or how. The words simply left his mouth because those were the words he wanted to say, words Henry needed to hear.

Henry shook in the other's embrace. "I don't believe you."

Ryo sighed softly. "I know."

He whimpered. "I'm not supposed to love you."

Ryo's eyes widened. The person Henry loved, the person who caused the blue haired angel pain, was him?

"I'm the person you love?"

Henry stiffened, as the fact that he had revealed the secret to Ryo set in. Yet as Ryo continued the reassuring, gentle caresses upon his back, Henry relaxed. "Yeah."

"I love you too."

"No you don't." Henry fought with himself. Ryo didn't love him; couldn't love him, he told himself. It was a losing battle.

"Yes I do."

It would take a while, perhaps days or years, but Ryo would convince Henry that he loved the boy. Ryo wouldn't let the boy suffer any more pain. Not even by his own hands.

:-:-:-:-:

"How long has it been?" Henry asked softly.

Ryo smiled a bit sadly. He knew what Henry spoke of. The younger man, no longer a boy, always asked the same question while staring at the silver blade.

"Almost three years."

"What do you think I would have done if you hadn't followed me?"

"I don't want to think about it."

Henry sighed as he ran a finger along the side of the blade. "Do you think I would still be here today?"

"I don't know."

The blue haired man nestled back when he felt two arms wrap around him from behind. "I'm glad Terriermon found out."

Ryo 'hmm-ed softly, letting his nose bury itself in the messy sapphire locks beneath him.

"I love you Ryo." The words came out shyly. The phrase was still new to his lips, but he enjoyed saying them.

"I love you too Henry."

With a smile, Henry turned and allowed Ryo to kiss him. It was one of many in the past few years, but just as sweet and loving.

Pulling away from the kiss, Ryo smiled at Henry's slight blush. "Come on. Takato and the others are waiting."

"I'll be right there Ryo."

When Ryo was gone from sight, Henry turned to look in the mirror of the vanity. Gone was the scrawny, uncertain teen of a few years back. Now the reflection of a strong, yet still delicate young man gazed back. His hair was a bit longer, as he brushed back the strands of his hair that chose to graze his cheeks, and his silver eyes as wide and innocent as ever.

Looking away from his double, Henry pulled back the sleeve of his shirt to reveal a wrist. It was still covered in scars. Some old, some newer than others stood pale against his tanned skin. Tracing the most recent one he took his blade. Pressing it to the skin, he drew one long, shallow line. For a few moments he watched the crimson line cry, his gaze following the tears that fell from the wound. Biting his lip with an almost smile he wrapped it tightly in gauze to stop the bleeding.

"Henry, are you coming?" Ryo poked his head back into the room after the bunny tamer had not initially followed.

"Yeah, I'm coming." Henry smiled at his reflection one last time before setting the blade to rest upon the vanity. He knew Ryo would see the wound as soon as he entered and would comfort the smaller. It had become routine of sorts these past few years. A tight, protective hug, a kiss to the forehead, and softly, ever so softly, whispered words of love and affection.

This time however, the blade would remain on the vanity. Never would it allow the young man to cry his crimson tears again.

:-:-:-:-:

Sometimes I feel like screaming. Just throwing everything to the wind and letting it all come out in one earth shattering burst.

Sometimes I feel like crying. Ignore everyone and let it stream out in crystal drops that purify.

Sometimes I feel like hurting. Tearing away at the flesh till there's nothing left but bone.

I think I might be going crazy, but it's perfectly normal for teenagers to go through depressive periods.

It's perfectly normal to fall in love.

Love hurts.

But love's not suppose to hurt and break and be forbidden.

Love's suppose to be perfectly normal.

Sometimes I feel like hurting.

:-:-:-:-:

It doesn't hurt anymore.

KimMi::sniffles: There it is. The end of Sometimes I Feel Like Hurting.

Clowmon::stands stretches and yawns: Goodbye and good riddance.

KimMi: I hate you.

Clowmon: Same here. Later. :disappears:

KimMi: Well, this is goodbye for now. If you want to donate any muses, feel free. Just, please include a bit of their personality and the fics they like to muse. Those who do, get to request a Henryo story that I will try my hardest to do. Review and send love.

buh-byes

wuv

KimMi


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